Think of Possibilities

Please read this very, very slowly, it is interactive.

Think about your past. Where you were, where you’ve been, what you did it, when you did it, how you did it, why you did it. You carry this past with you, wherever you go, whenever you are, whatever you do. This is the past. The past is heavy. It slows you down sometimes. The past haunts you sometimes. The past dives in uninvited reminding you of tragedies, happy moments, stupid mistakes, intelligent breakthroughs or just lucky breaks. The past is what you did and what you were. The past is your journal. You write it as you move on through this life. The journal is always there, you will always find it. Hey, but the past is over, you are here now.

Think about your present. Think about where you are now. Think about the time now. Think about how you feel now. Think about what you are doing now. Here you are just reading this now, no more, no less. This is the present. This is just you, where you are, reading this. There’s no one here, there’s no time, there are no plans and there are no worries. This is now. Now, there is nothing but the present, the now.

Think about the now. Think about how it may become. Think about what you can do. Think about the possibilities you have now. I remind you that the past is over. The past has passed. There is just the now. The possibilities you have now are not those of the past. Think about the possibilities you have now. Think only about that. If you feel that there’s not much for you to do now, that there isn’t much possibilities, think again. Keep thinking until you find all that you can do. The possibilities are larger now, right? of course.
If you still have limited possibilities, think again, until you finally realize that the possibilities you have now are endless. Endless, yes. You couldn’t write them down or list them. Not by any way.
I have a point. As you are reading this now, you will find that you can stop reading this junk, you can continue too if you like it. That’s a possibility, just one…
… I’m glad you’re still reading.
The point of all this is that where you are now is all that matters. This is where you should be and this is where you want to be. This is where you can do and act. This is where you have it all, all the possibilities. This is where you have the choice between the possibilities.

Now, Think about what you WANT to be. Think about what you WANT do. Think about when you WANT do it.
Now, read this again, the possibilities are now.

Know what you want

After this long wait, you gentlemen and lovely women need something. The keyword never stopped, it just wasnt published. Anyway, The keyword is back.


The keywords are “Know what you want”. Let me break this down to you.

The keyword is “Know”. Know everything. Know all that you see, all that you feel, all that you hear. Know it in all its aspects, its forms, its realities, its illusions. I might even say, Know it like you own it. To know is just be aware. That is not very simple, though. Just, try to make it simple.

The keyword is “what”. You don’t need everything. You don’t want everything. You may think you want lots of things.
Stop reading now, ask yourself what do you really want now. Just try to know what you want now. At this very moment…

… done?, good. I bet it wasn’t many things or at least not as many things as you thought there will be.

Here’s another aspect of the keyword “what”,
What causes what? What creates what? What induces what? The effects of the what are as important as the what itself. The effects of your action is as important as the action itself. The “what” you want has many layers. The “what” has so many implications. Know the aspects of your what.

The keyword is “you”. It’s all about you. Everything is about you. You have your goals. You have your needs, your desires, your thoughts, your expressions, your silly remarks, your wonderful talks, your past failures, your present discoveries, your future goals. You are heading somewhere. Where’s that again? Tell me…

The keyword is “want”. You want to be happy, just that. You maybe want everyone to be happy, or maybe not. You want this because it will make you happy, or well, happier than you are now. Your desires rule you. This is just true. Know what your desires are. Know how you “carry” them around you. Know how many of them confuse you. Know what desires to have.

Know what you want. Let’s review what you have discovered:
Try to be aware of things, try to be aware of the different aspects of the thing, try to relate them to you and your goals, act and then indulge your desire. If you don’t succeed, you just keep trying or just ask yourself is that really what you want?
If by some weird and fortunate situation you find yourself one moment, wanting nothing. Yes, wanting nothing whatsoever. Enjoy it. And, guess what, you can now fully choose what you really want. Enjoy that too.

The life(s) you choose

Life is about choices, shitty (as in hard) choices mostly. Choices are a chance (or a need) to change. Change is a desire to develop and to improve, a wish for a tomorrow better than today. It all breaks down to this one simple wish. This wish should define all good and bad changes, choices and lives.

The keyword is “define”: describe and identify. Think about something good. Think about something bad. Compare the two. There is mainly no difference in the (good or bad) objects concerned at any level, just your perception changes, just the “way” you feel about it.

The keyword is “feel”: You feel good. You feel bad. You know good because you’ve known bad (or you’re going to know it in the near future). You perceive the good compared to the bad. You recognize the bad related to the good.

The keyword is “perception”: perception is always biased. It’s never so-called objective or “pure”… You can’t stop feeling, can’t you? All you see, even so called objectively, is what you feel. The objectiveness or “purity” of an idea is only related to how much you can conceive change and new ideas or, more precisely, to how much good fresh ideas make you feel.
There is no static, structured, fixed, ordered higher truth. The higher truth only emanates from your feelings.

Life is about choices, shitty (as in hard) choices mostly. Choices are a chance (or a need) to change. Change is a desire to develop, a wish for a tomorrow better than today. It all breaks down to this one simple wish. This wish should define all good and bad changes, choices and lives.
(The text repetition is here to make you re-read with a new perspective)

The keyword is “wish”: At some point of your life, you had/have/will have a choice to make. You conceive the possible alternatives of your choice; you weigh them according to one another; you choose the best option.
“This wish should define all good and bad.”
This wish is the will to learn new things, to adopt new ideas, to support new concepts, to be totally free, to be open to all suggestions, to be compassionate to differences.
This wish is the will to sustain change.
Sounds like an oxymoron? It’s not. Re-read please.
Don’t regard change as a rupture or a break; it never is. If it seems so, you just were not aware of the subtle differences earlier, you weren’t prepared for alternatives, you couldn’t perceive or conceive them.
All moves subtle and smooth.
Be aware of it, be tuned to it and choices will seem like never-ending soft waves of the tranquil ocean; ripples in the vast always stirring big structure.

Life is about choices, shitty (as in hard) choices mostly. Choices are a chance (or a need) to change. Change is a desire to develop, a wish for a tomorrow better than today. It all breaks down to this one simple wish. This wish should define all good and bad changes, choices and lives.
(The text repetition is here to make you re-read with an better new perspective)

Mundus Absurdus

Dépraver de toute lueur nocturne dans une ère de myriade
Aucun sens de l’humour et moult ironies et maintes cavalcades
Aucun signe de principes droits et sans droit de sentimentalisme
Exode du puritanisme authentique et départ du rationalisme
Avènement du matérialisme et prise des essentialistes
Par des existentialistes et un système élito-totalitariste
Empuantissement des mémoires collectives et des goûts
Effondrement des pyramides théologiques et des manitous
Ascension des mouvements pudiques et sectes ahurissants
Adoration de la chaire, de la matière, de la guerre et du sang.

by Jihad Khalil, jihadkhalil@gmail.com

Over-analyze this

I think people (including me) should stop thinking. Some people suffer what you may call an excessive obsessive compulsive over thinking disorder. Every little thing should have its place, every personality its own psychological stereotype, every act its own script, every look its significance. Problem: people really don’t give a … (fill in the blanks with whatever word you feel like) about what you may think or at the very least, they just can’t know your analyzing probing thoughts.

The keyword is “don’t give a … ”: You really want to be part of something. If you aren’t you wouldn’t feel alive. You’re not really part of your whole self. You sure want to touch others, but somehow you don’t really touch you. You sure want to know about others, maybe in some desperate cause to know yourself. Whatever you may start feeling, you relate it to other people or at least to the weird images you have of them. Fact: these weird images, my man/girl, are a part of you; YOU build those images, they only make sense to YOUR silly self.

The keyword is “image”: image as a picture/representation of something. Yes, illusions my friend. Quoting from “The Tibetan book of dead” (no questions please): “All these are like dreams, Like echoes, Like cities of clouds, Like mirages, Like mirrored forms, The moon seen in water.” Yes, all you perceive/feel/think are subtle illusions. The subconscious is a powerful thing. Problem: indeed, big, big problem.

Example (a simple one):
You meet someone. You’re both having loads of fun. She is great, laughing, smiling and all that. You start thinking, should I take this to next level? Should I say this or that? Should I do this or that? Should I kiss now or later? What will she think if I say this or that or do this or that? How will I react after that? ...
Relax your restless mind. RELAX!

The keyword is “relax”: When you start analyzing (i.e. Over-analyzing) something, Stop. You are missing a shot at something simple and pure, relax, go with the flow and the mood, this flow and this mood you are intuitively creating.

The keyword is “intuitively”: never underestimate sheer intuition. It is the most direct reflection of you. Stop analyzing every single thing you see to build some sort of big ass image. Touch her, kiss her and just tell her. Act as you feel, react as you feel, not as you should feel. Be yourself. Just be yourself.

Fake

All is fake. All is relatively fake. All is, very probably, relatively fake. Fake, bogus, bull, phony. All you perceive is subtle illusion misleading you to some dire finale where you realize what something is, what you thought it would be and ultimately, what this particular thing will never be. A simple concluding event, just to cut all the fakery crap.

The keyword is clearly “fake”. What is not clear is the fake factor, it is fake?, its degree, How fake could things be?, its perception, Does everything I see is fake?, its development, How fake could things become?, and its impact, Shall I act upon this or is it fake?.

The keyword is still “fake”. fake as not true. True as genuine. Genuine as glowing with the true essence of things. Fake as wrapping any tiny part of any essence with soi-disant shiny foil. Some people do it compulsively and ultimately find themselves trapped in shiny fake land. Shiny fake land is nice. Shiny fake land is somehow reassuring. Until, all that shiny foil you wrapped so well can’t hold you and your fake ideas, feelings and perceptions: you awake from shiny fake land, cast away in cruel reality where shiny things aren’t so numerous. In some cases, the gap is huge.

The keyword is “gap”: A disparity or difference as between two figures. Figure this. This gap is a part of you. No man lives in reality. Simple harsh reality has no place in your mind. The fake crap is only here so that you remain sane, happy. Only the fall from fake, from shiny fake land (or maybe just the fall from grace) is real. It sure hurts, but it’s true. Deal with that.


Rien n'est vrai, rien n'est faux; tout est songe et mensonge,
Illusion du cœur qu'un vain espoir prolonge.
Nos seules vérités, hommes, sont nos douleurs.
Lamartine (Alphonse de), Harmonies poétiques et religieuses, le Tombeau d'une mère.

The mood and you

There’s a martini at your table. The dim lights create devilish shapes in this drink of yours. The overly saturating brown-red-ish color smoothes in slowly in the perfectly cut lime that’s perfectly diffusing some sourness in that overly too sweet drink. The ice offers your drink sweet tickling sounds when you gently move it towards and taste it. The smoke you exhale from the best cigarette you smoked all day easily sweeps on the surface of your cold drink teasing it with its hot nimbleness. The music you hear is soft, sweet and fills all of you. Yes, the mood is good. Yes, you are good.

You watch your cigarette slowly burning and you recall how you slowly burnt. You’re watching some segment of your life burning its way to your hand. She is no more. She is not more or less than she should be. You watch this simple story that burnt you slowly fading away into ashes and smoke. The smoke still teases your drink and the sweet absolution it brings. The smoke is without significant effect, just like she is. You inhale one last breath of this devilish cigarette just to have one last taste of this sweet obsession. It tastes good, but not as good as it did, not as good as it could be. You look at the cigarette, just to feel the sweet burn one last time. You put the cigarette out. The drink awaits your now-lonely lips. Yes, the mood is good. You are good.

To sex or not

We are young. We are horny. We have sex. We have pleasures with sex. We have troubles with sex.
The keyword is “young”: we are young. we face raging hormones, hormones programmed to be at their utmost efficiency on our fully grown fresh bodies. Continuous Horniness is an instant effect, whether good or bad.
We are young. We have amazing stamina. We have incredible desires. We have unimaginable fantasies. We want to explore.

The keyword is “explore”: Every sexual experience is a new one. Every kiss has its own taste and adventure. Every touch brings its own feel and every smell, its own dimension. At least, this is the way for those who notice the fine differences in every sexual experience. There are some who are avid explorers of any new “land” and some who simply refuse (for whatever the reason) to wander in sex land.
Those who cultivate fierce diversity have a distinctive quality: They stroll to more luscious ones, cuter ones, easier ones, more amusing ones, more skilled ones, to ones with different colored hair, or to just different bed sheets. (Well, for some, the bed sheets are the same, only the after-smell in them changes). The counter parts of these people consider these doings immoral. Blah!
When the people with such erratic behaviors are faced, the classic reply is “It’s MY Life! It’s MY genitals! Go get a life and get laid!” Blah!

The keywords are “blah blah blah blah and blah”: The Rambling behaviors and the more “ethical”/”honorable” ones. When you fuck too much with your own genitals (or maybe play with too many), you’re fucking up your brain. You’re fucking up your brain just as well when you strictly don’t fuck, when you aren’t “getting private” with other’s privates. (silly sentence, yes, I know)

If you belong to the conservative and morally correct group, congratulations! You are good for giving ethically correct but futile discussions about various interesting subjects to most young people: sex before marriage, sex before dinner, sex before sunrise, sex before breakup…
You usually don’t get any sex (by choice or not?!), but you sure like to talk to others about it, maybe too much. You talk to brag or you to forcibly inflict upon others your vision of a sex-free world. You are regarded by good ethically correct parents as a blessing boyfriend/girlfriend for their child, they all want you to date theirs kids, you are hot stuffs baby! You got what life is really about pretty early in your life and you are very proud. But still, you aren’t getting laid, and the hormones are raging wild in your body, and basically fucking up your brain. But, yeah, every great cause has its sacrifices.

If you belong to the more hip group with 24/7 sex attitude, congratulations too! Boy or girl, you are a sex machine, pure and simple: blondes and brunettes, tall ones and tiny ones, long ones and wider ones… they have all been “tested and processed”. You have tasted, touched and smelled. No body can resist you. You have some incredible techniques that can make a washing machine scream from utter orgasm. You know all the secrets. You know all the “good spots”. You know desire. You know the other dirty side of life and you like it.

The keyword is “sex”: Sex is good. Sex is great. Get lots of it. It’s only when you’re having lots of sex that you realize (or least should) that sex is nothing, sex is bullshit. But as with so many things in life, experience will make you wise…

Obsesión

You just saw her. You just really saw her. Oh my god! This is instant utter infatuation. You look at her. You really look at her. Some weird unknown things are stirring inside of you, things you didn’t know existed, things you’ve lost for a long time, things that are shifting and moving so much in such tiny instants… somewhat like a storm.

The keyword is “storm”: a storm hits you. You stand physically unmoved as world around you is victim of an extreme whirling effect. Yet, somehow this blowing storm warms you; with all the agitation hitting you so suddenly, you somehow found a place to be, and someone to be with in all the places you want to be. Ladies and gentlemen, you are witnessing a crush.

The keyword is “crush”: “You’re crushing me baby. You smash me nice and soft, heavy and good.” You stand and perceive nothing around her, just her and the fine particles of air she’s exciting - if it was only those!- with this euphoric perfume she’s diffusing. Stop it. Just stop it.

The keyword is “stop”: you stop it. A crush should end, ASAP. A crush shouldn’t settle. A crush is amazingly obsessive.

The keyword is “obsessive”: What’s more addictive and obsessive than reliving the same wondrous experience every time you see her? You want to see her every day, every hour, usually you can’t, so you imagine her, you think about her just trying to grasp a glimpse of these ecstatic feelings hitting you when any thought implies her. Of all of this you make out a great collection of mental pictures and flashbacks that you reconstruct and put in your favorite places, and thus create a perfect crush wonderland. You see her again. Your crush wonderland is more and more wonderful; you just add some more pictures in your silly mind.

The keyword is “picture”: You picture her sweeter than anything you ever tasted. You picture her nicer than anyone you’ve ever met. You picture her smiling at you like she never smiled at any other. You picture her happy with you like she never was with any other. You’re obsessing; you picture her as everything you want her (or any other girl) to be. You’re just stuck with a perfect lovely image of the girl you want to be with: “the one”. You simply picture her as the one.
She might be, stop thinking, stop feeling, take a breath, just go and just say “hi”…