One Emotion

Sometimes, a picture is worth a thousand words. Another space: One Emotion, check it out.

October 24, 2004


You just saw her. You just really saw her. Oh my god! This is instant utter infatuation. You look at her. You really look at her. Some weird unknown things are stirring inside of you, things you didn’t know existed, things you’ve lost for a long time, things that are shifting and moving so much in such tiny instants… somewhat like a storm.

The keyword is “storm”: a storm hits you. You stand physically unmoved as world around you is victim of an extreme whirling effect. Yet, somehow this blowing storm warms you; with all the agitation hitting you so suddenly, you somehow found a place to be, and someone to be with in all the places you want to be. Ladies and gentlemen, you are witnessing a crush.

The keyword is “crush”: “You’re crushing me baby. You smash me nice and soft, heavy and good.” You stand and perceive nothing around her, just her and the fine particles of air she’s exciting - if it was only those!- with this euphoric perfume she’s diffusing. Stop it. Just stop it.

The keyword is “stop”: you stop it. A crush should end, ASAP. A crush shouldn’t settle. A crush is amazingly obsessive.

The keyword is “obsessive”: What’s more addictive and obsessive than reliving the same wondrous experience every time you see her? You want to see her every day, every hour, usually you can’t, so you imagine her, you think about her just trying to grasp a glimpse of these ecstatic feelings hitting you when any thought implies her. Of all of this you make out a great collection of mental pictures and flashbacks that you reconstruct and put in your favorite places, and thus create a perfect crush wonderland. You see her again. Your crush wonderland is more and more wonderful; you just add some more pictures in your silly mind.

The keyword is “picture”: You picture her sweeter than anything you ever tasted. You picture her nicer than anyone you’ve ever met. You picture her smiling at you like she never smiled at any other. You picture her happy with you like she never was with any other. You’re obsessing; you picture her as everything you want her (or any other girl) to be. You’re just stuck with a perfect lovely image of the girl you want to be with: “the one”. You simply picture her as the one.
She might be, stop thinking, stop feeling, take a breath, just go and just say “hi”…

October 16, 2004

Stupid thoughts about stupid thoughts

The stupid thoughts. The stupid thoughts in the stupid rarely frequented depths of your brain. But then, as you vaguely recall, you have been visiting these depths in your mind more and more recently; they are no so strange. These are your stupid thoughts about stupid people, your stupid thoughts about stupid acts, your stupid thoughts about stupid circumstances, your stupid thoughts about stupid thoughts, your stupid thoughts about the other’s even stupider thoughts…just you and your stupid thoughts.

The keyword is “you”: of course, the stupid thoughts are yours. You mainly didn’t cause the stupid things that induced the stupid thoughts. Yes, this is the others’ doing. You’re only thinking stupid thoughts. You see stupidity and you think about it. Pretty simple… and stupid. But know this, the ambient stupidity only reflect the inner one, that is the one inside of you, yes you. You see stupidity because you know what it is, you just didn’t witness it so clearly before, you felt it before, which doesn’t render any of your stupid thoughts invalid: at least you know what you’re talking (or thinking) about. You see everything and everyone as stupid. You’ve been stupid before. You know what stupid is. You see it well now. Why now? Why not before? Stupid, stupid, stupid!...

The keyword is indeed “stupid”: everyone is stupid at some point of their lives. It’s just a phase. However, some people tend to overlook all acceptable boundaries of stupidity by just holding on to this happy feeling directly caused by stupidity, trying to relive it, amplify it, expand it, exaggerate it to the point where, in their stupid heads, stupidity is just impossible to conceive.

The keyword is “conceive”: Stupidity, maybe, is about different people conceiving different things differently. But somehow, all stupid people are alike. if observed over a long period of time, their conduct is basically the same. There is a stupid pattern for stupidity, so stupid people basically perceive/conceive things similarly. So, why do you see things so differently and expose this stupidity?
Why don’t you feel stupid (anymore)?
Why do you feel everyone is playing the same stupid game(s)? Why is this game so stupid?
How much stupidity can one possess to be called stupid? How much stupidity can one repress to be called, just as well, stupid? How much stupidity can someone hold?
How come all she ever did was stupid? How come all she does is even stupider?
Why does everything you hoped for turns out, eventually, to be stupid?
Why so see so much stupidity?
Maybe you’re just too stupid to find out…

October 02, 2004

Love Explained, Simply

You’re in love. Or are you? Of course, you’re not sure, most aren’t and never will be. Quite intriguing for a feeling supposed to be so strong and overwhelming in every aspect of you…

The keyword is “intriguing”: Love is about intrigue. You don’t know how you both started, how you managed to stay together, how you sometimes just “clicked”, how you sometimes couldn’t stand to look at each other, how it all suddenly ended and how it really didn’t end at all. We are powerless to love. We know nothing. We feel a lot. We do much for nothing, most of the time. We play endless games to keep the intrigue. And when the intrigue is gone, the love is gone, the thrill is gone. That’s the way it is.

The keyword is “is”. What the heck is love? What’s it about? Well, to start, it’s about two people who somehow, someway, at some time found each other. Cute. Yeah, the start is usually very simple. Most simple things, however, tend to become incredibly complex. So you both met. You are together. You’re having lots of fun. You’re having the most interesting conversations you’ve ever had even though they’re probably the same recurrent conversations you had in all your past relationships. You have your occasional misunderstandings on occasional things but all is flowing well. Are you in love yet? Well, it depends… most of us go through relationships not ever thinking about anything, we go with this submerging flow of desires and passion. Don’t get me wrong, it does feel great to just go with this flow but, in this kind of situation, you usually can’t conceive that there’s a big dam blocking this stream of emotions in you; you’re going to get hurt real bad if you don’t (or don’t want to) look ahead.

The keyword is “hurt”: Love hurts. It just does. You hurt when you miss her. You hurt when you can’t be with her. You hurt when she hurts. You hurt when you hate her. you hurt when she hates you. You hurt when you’re both hurting. You hurt when you kiss and she doesn’t kiss back the way she did. You hurt when she’s not what she was. You hurt when she is still what she is and you are still hurting. You hurt when you are slowly breaking apart, you see it, but can’t help it. Love just hurts. Love hurts like nothing else. In fact, a major indicator that you’re in love is the pain
The greater the pain the better your chances are you are (or maybe just were…) in love.
Talk about simple…