One Emotion

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July 03, 2004

The art of being lonely

You are listening to your favorite song. You are sipping your favorite drink. You are in your favorite place. You look around, you are alone. You may be surrounded by numerous and various friends. You are alone. There’s no one next to you, no one to just look you in the eyes and confirm “Yes, I am here”. There’s no one you can just gently hold and just think “Yes, we are here” as you take a slow soft deep breath. Yes, I am talking about the “one”…
[Awkward silence]

The keyword is “alone”: you are a lonely soul. You are a lonely soul who hasn’t found another soul so you can both just share your sheer loneliness in both of your lives, as silly humans in this world, in all events. Being with another soul is just about sharing time together, and time is the most precious thing any human can offer: it’s the only thing that’s inherently and generally limited. Finding the “one” is finding that one person you are prepared to spend most of your time, and probably your lifetime, with. This is great, but hard to accomplish. Finding someone with “the one” potential is just as great and just as hard.

The keyword is “potential”: we strive in all relationships to discover any “the one” potential. We really want to find it. Needless to say, that these “the one” potentials are all very relative to everyone. Ideally, in its most simple form, you have some kind of basic set of prerequisites you want someone to have. Most relationships, at their first stages, comply with the following: “ I build my prerequisites list (it must be noted that the contents of this list are directly related to the experiences and outcome of previous relationships). I meet him/her. I don’t know him/her. I want to get to know him/her. I spend considerable time with him/her. I get to know him/her. I check if he/she conforms to my prerequisites list. If it does then he/she is a “the one” material. “
This is a simple and very realistic logic. But, life has a way of twisting any kind of good and sound logic. Call it bad luck, bad choices, bad behaviors, bad grasp of things, bad grip on things... You are alone.
You follow all the rules. You create new ones. You grasp every opportunity. You induce new ones. You go with the flow. You are imaginative. You are alone.
I frankly don’t know how the whole thing works. I frankly am starting to think that I only have taste for the “basically” (c’est-a-dire from day 0) unattainable/impossible. Weird thought, stupid even but sometimes it makes so much sense. This thought needs more reflections as to how and, more importantly, why (just asking myself why renders me scared).
Either ways, I only know when the whole thing doesn’t work. Here’s what I hope to be a comprehensive list of what to do to remain completely lonely, labeled “The Art of Being Lonely”. This is a humorous approach to a sick sad problem… heh, c’est la vie…


The Art of Being Lonely
OR
How not to find the “one” (or anyone)


1. Be an idealistic.
This is very helpful in your quest for utter loneliness. Stick to your silly ideals and philosophical point of views relationship-wise. If he isn’t prince charming because he isn’t charming/shinning/rich/smart or stupid/cute/introverted or open/virile enough, don’t even bother to try something with him. If she isn’t sexy/skinny/hot/smart or stupid/blond or brunette/elegant/curvy enough, she isn’t worth it, next please. Really stick to your hardened ideals, you’ll find him/her, don’t worry, just wait…

2. Be a coward.
Don’t be afraid of throwing everything down the drain (ie. Breaking up) at the slightest problem. If things aren’t working out now, how can they workout later on? Right?

3. Be amazingly introverted, Don’t share any feeling or thought.
You are your own self. No one should be able to “get into” you. you should never “open up”. Stick to the basic, most formal, most casual treatment toward your partner. Success guaranteed.
Notice: This isn’t just directed to guys, usually accused of not being able to correctly express themselves. Girls can indeed express themselves much better, but then again, they should want to…

4. Be a fearful bitch (For Guys and Girls).
Your last relationships ended so badly and caused you great amount of pain and trauma. Any subsequent experience will just make you relive your past moments of pain and suffering. You must wander from partner to another. You must make their lives a living hell. And then, just dump them. This tactic can seem confusing as you are indeed meeting and “bonding with” numerous guys/girls, “I can’t be lonely” you say. But, indeed, even though you are usually with someone, you are lonely, and in the long term, you will still be.

5. Be needy/ego-centric.
You are your own self. You should indulge your self. Your needs are what count. Your desires are to be satisfied immediately and completely. You are the one who does all the talks. You should be the one who makes all the decisions. You are the one “in control”. When you are finally content, you might consider thinking about your partner’s wants. This “advice” when coupled with number 6, “Be incredibly jealous” is extremely effective. However in some very rare and strange cases, 5 and 6 prove to induce considerably long relationships; brain damage to both parties is believed to exist.

6. Be incredibly jealous.
You got him/her. You must own him/her now. He/she must not go anywhere without your prior consent/knowledge. Any person he/she talks to/looks at is considered a potential suspect. You must bring hell on him/her. You must not let anything pass by. Frequent threats to breakup and emotional blackmail are your favorite weapons. You must have that leech very tight. Aw. Aw. Aw.


I hope this says it all…